在研究論文裡,將不平行結構改成平行結構,為的是修正許多寫得不好的句子。平行結構是由文法上對等的元素所組成,如一系列的名詞片語或形容詞。雖然文法正確的句子不一定有平行結構,但是平行結構的句子通常比較容易閱讀。
下面我會說明如果修正平行結構中常見的錯誤,幫助您增進論文的易讀性。
平行比較
在大多數的學術文章中,試驗變數會與控制組相比較,以此確認對特定結果的影響。讓相比較的元素在文法上相符,能讓重要的比較訊息變得更加清楚。舉例來說,您可以比較名詞和名詞,卻不應該比較名詞和副詞,以下面一句為例:
Exercise prescription but not changing the patient’s diet helped improve metabolism of overweight patients.(不正確)
因為此句中的比較不平行,所以不易讀懂,看一看比較詞but not兩邊的字,分別是名詞exercise prescription和分詞片語changing the patient’s diet。我們可以將分詞片語改成名詞來修正此句:
Exercise prescription but not dietary therapy helped improve metabolism of overweight patients.(正確)
或將名詞改為分詞片語:
Prescribing exercise but not changing the patient’s diet helped improve metabolism of overweight patients.(正確)
相關連接詞(correlative conjunctions)
字詞可以使用相關連接詞連在一起,如either/or、neither/nor、not/but、not only/but also、both/and等。這些連接詞組可以強化重點,討論不同選項或呈現矛盾處。重要的是用相關連接詞連在一起的元素必須是同等的,如下例:
Either patients were prescribed with exercise prescription or medications, but not both.(不正確)
這句是錯的,因為either和or連接的是主詞動詞組合patients were prescribed with exercise prescription和名詞medications。要修正此句,我們可以將主詞動詞組合改成名詞:
Patients were prescribed with either exercise prescription or medications, but not both.(正確)
此句的either和or連接了兩個名詞exercise prescription和medications,因而呈現平行結構,但如果您再讀一次上面兩個例句,您會發現平行結構的句子較好懂。
學術寫作中另一個常見的錯誤是使用相關連接詞比較了超過兩個東西,例如:
We measured either body weight, body height, or BMI of each participant.(不正確)
這裡比較了三項,因此這裡使用相關連接詞either/or有誤。我們可以拿開either,來修正此句:
We measured heart rate, blood sugar, or blood pressure in each patient.(正確)
平行列表
列表是一句中有三個項目以上的清單。為求語意清楚,列表中的各元素,應該要符合文法上的一致,例如:
The methods that can be used to treat cancer include surgery, chemotherapy, and with targeted therapy.(不正確)
您可能會注意到上面這句不太對勁,問題在於句子的非平行結構,其中surgery、chemotherapy是名詞,而with targeted therapy是介係詞片語,我們可以把介係詞片語直接改成名詞來加以修正:
The methods that can be used to treat cancer include surgery, chemotherapy, and targeted therapy.(正確)
三個列表元素都是名詞,所以該句現在呈平行結構,且更易讀。讓我們看看另一個例子:
We took pictures of the stomach, kidney, and analyzed the lesion.(不正確)
這句一樣不好讀,其中的第三元素(analyzed the lesion)是另外的述語,不屬於該列表。
We took pictures of the stomach and kidney, and analyzed the lesion.(正確)
本句現在呈平行結構。列表裡的兩個元素是名詞,述語也已自列表中分離出來,以逗號和對等連接詞連接。
對應介係詞
介係詞代表某物在哪裡,或是何時發生了什麼事,如in、on、under、over、after、before、at。介係詞片語包含介係詞及其受詞。在介係詞片語的平行列表中,各元素前的介係詞必須重提。以下面一句為例:
DNA fragments were extracted from blood samples, soft tissues, and after western blotting.(不正確)
本句不正確的原因在於soft tissues之前缺少介係詞,這個問題可以藉由加上缺少的介係詞輕鬆修正。
DNA fragments were extracted from blood samples, from soft tissues, and after western blotting.(正確)
不過如果各元素前的介係詞一樣的話,即不需要重複提及介係詞。例如:
Teachers in elementary schools, in junior high schools, and in senior high schools were recruited as the participants.(不正確)
可以除去後面兩個介係詞in,縮短成:
Teachers in elementary schools, junior high schools, and senior high schools were recruited as the participants.(正確)
動詞片語
要讓動詞片語的列表達成平行結構,相同的動詞應該帶出各元素,例如:
The results indicated declined neuron activities, increased toxicity, and caused less desirable survival rates.(不正確)
此句有誤是因為最後的元素less desirable survival rates用了不同的動詞caused,這樣一來最後面的元素組合起來起變成The results indicated caused less desirable survival rates,而解決方法很明顯是要把第二個動詞拿掉:
The results indicated declined neuron activities, increased toxicity, and less desirable survival rates.(正確)
或者我們可以將最後的元素拆成分開的句子,強調此處的語意:
The results indicated declined neuron activities, increased toxicity. Less desirable survival rates were also caused.(正確)
清單
平行結構對條列式清單也很重要。看看下面的例子:
- to enable fast healing
- to minimize postsurgical bleeding
- reducing surgery-related complications
以上的最後一項,以動名詞reducing起頭的最後一點沒有平行結構,而清單中的另外兩點則以不定詞起頭to enable 及to minimize,這個錯誤可以藉由將最後一點改為不定詞來修正:
- to enable fast healing
- to minimize postsurgical bleeding
- to reduce surgery-related complications
或是改用動名詞為前兩點起頭:
- enabling fast healing
- minimizing postsurgical bleeding
- reducing surgery-related complications.
省略結構
有些句子中,會刻意避開平行結構,這種結構稱為省略結構(elliptical construction),會排除結構中隱含的資訊,以增進可讀性。以下面兩句為例:
Three participants received the intervention measure, two received the conventional approach, and two withdrew from the study.
Three participants received the intervention measure, two participants received the conventional approach, and two participants withdrew from the study.
哪一句比較容易讀?答案是第一句,因為沒有必要重複participants。讀者會推估這裡各元素談的是participant的人數,常見的錯誤是重新置入省略結構中已刪去的字在其中一個元素中,容易造成不必要的誤會,如下句:
Three participants received the intervention measure, two received the conventional approach, and two participants withdrew from the study.
這句會造成讀者停頓,思考為什麼最後的元素要再加回participants,難道剛剛不是一直在談participants的數量嗎?身為寫作者,切記文章的內容一定要讓您的讀者閱讀起來順暢。
達到正確的平衡
就算您不是個文法專家也能發現平行結構中的錯誤,非平行句是不平衡的,常常難以理解,除非您刻意使用省略結構改善易讀性。而本文列出的各點可幫您寫出平行句構,讓您的論文能更清楚地表達意涵。